This last 365ish days have been some of the hardest. I have had experiences I never thought I would and they have defined me in unexpected ways. I have somehow been able to find balance with all these strange occurrences and in doing so have redefined my sense of self. Here are some major events that shifted my world this year and a new idea that has come out of it:
- My grandmother passed and she was more like me than anyone with my blood. But her passing has reminded me to stay strong and follow my heart. I feel her with me everyday.
- I stood up for myself in some toxic relationships more than I ever have before. And I am proud of myself for finally doing that.
- I was present during a fatal police shooting and experienced physical shock for the first time. I was subpoenaed for the grand jury hearing and went to therapy to work through that experience. This was really the first time I came face to face with y own mortality.
- I then was taken to a new level of sorrow when my former hometown was rocked by the Pulse nightclub shooting. Then I was able to to pay tribute to the victims of the Pulse shooting through my art. The woman who bought it (all proceeds went to the victims) loved it and that piece meant more than any work I tried to sell at past shows. So it doesn't matter if no one buys my art. It matters that I keep making it from my heart.
- I was then laid off for the first time in my life.
- I created my first viral internet post. And that was stressful and wonderful all at the same time. I am so proud of the statement I made and if I am going to be known for only one thing in my life that isn't half bad. I don't think what I did is exceptional but that fact that I actually DID IT matters. Then another amazing realization came into play. People around the world were contacting me to put together a magazine with them. I didn't have any interest in pursuing this but sooooooooo many people did. So many people had this passion project in the back of their heads and they never DID IT. They all just needed a spark to hold on to. They saw my success as a spark. The more I thought about this the more I thought of how many dream projects never see the light of day...
I now want to direct some focus on my dream projects. I have some really big dreams and I am going to share them in my blog and explain what I would love to do. I have a very diverse range of interests (from pop-up cards to paranormal research) so you might be surprised at what you see. But I am going to devote some posts going forward to my dream projects because I now realize how many ideas never see the light of day and I want to change that. Sharing work matters.